So when I first turned 18, my older sister came to me and asked me if she could use my SSN to open up a light bill. She was a single mom with two kids at the time and was really struggling, and I felt sorta obligated to help. I really love my niece and nephew and when she told me they couldn’t even watch TV I felt so bad. She made me promise not to tell my mom and swore it’d be temporary and that she wouldn’t miss a payment because she knows how important credit is.
At the time, I didn’t really know myself and wasn’t too worried because I knew I wasn’t getting my own place anytime soon (I was just starting college). She ended up lying and let the bill go over thousands of dollars without me knowing because I was under the impression she was always paying it. Once I found out, I called and had them close the account so she wouldn’t make it go higher. Now she’s refusing to pay it and I don’t know what to do.. I spoke to the company and they sent me identity theft/fraud paperwork to fill out. She says she won’t get in trouble and it’s not fraud since I told her it was OK. But some people are telling me permission or not, it’s a crime. I just wanted to know what I should do? I don’t really have adults around me for guidance or advice
If the form had force-of-law and she lied to the electric company, then yes she committed a crime. The fact that she had your permission will impact the legal result, if any.
Tell her that she has *x days / x weeks* to pay it back before you file the fraud paperwork *and* tell your mom.
Meanwhile, start saving the money to pay it off yourself, just in case it comes to that.
> *”She says she won’t get in trouble and it’s not fraud since I told her it was OK.”*
This holds about as much weight as when she told you she wouldn’t miss a payment or extort you for thousands of dollars.
Follow the advice on the ID theft wiki and put all your accounts on lockdown. She could still be opening up accounts using your social and you would never know.
Ok it all depends on your state. In many unless you, the person giving you identification for use, are doing it in an attempt to defraud, the person who using it has committed identify theft.
Since your intent was not to get free utilities, you are the victim. Look up your state law. Google “in my state can I give away my identity”.
The answer is generally you can’t do it unless you are intending to be a criminal. Now. I am not an attorney but a lot of this is clear. So look that up. Send in the identify theft information. Report it. Do not answer letters or calls from collection agencies. Your sister is responsible for this by the simple fact that she benefited. The emails and texts are meaningless. Yet remember someone backed into a corner will lash out.
So sorry that this is your family. Hope you have some friends or find friends who are worthy of you. You were thinking of the kids I understand. Now you need to think of you.
She says she won’t get in trouble and it’s not fraud since I told her it was OK. But some people are telling me permission or not, it’s a crime.
This is identity theft. She impersonated you. Law is pretty straight forward regarding identity theft . So let her know if she doesn’t want to pay it you will file the identity theft and if the charge is big enough the company will go after her for fraud.
My crappy sister story.
I had a company car and I was 1000 miles away, I let my sister use my car, under my insurance. I had the title.
I then quit my job to chase my fiance(now wife) across the country, and wanted my car. She told me she sold it for cash. Probably for drugs.
My sister then hoodwinked our well off Aunt out of $10,000. Our Aunt called my brother and I up asking us to pay her back after trying to get my sister to pay her back for a couple of years. So, my Aunt quit talking to us. Which was too bad, she was a fun Aunt and had great stories. I use to drive to see her every year, and she was three states away.
After my Mom’s passing, we had a family email set up by my Dad with his extended family, not my Mom’s side. She hoodwinked one of them into giving her $8000 so she could start a candle making business. Again, she told them that my brother and I would make good on her debt. Once again, we did not.
I then wrote an email about my sister explaining to the clan what she had done in the past, and that neither my brother nor i would be responsible for any of her debts. Then, I terminated the email and asked to be removed by everyone on it.
My sister was furious, and called me up and berated me. I was not bothered. My brother had put her on the NOT WANTED list in his secure and gated community.
My sister is out visiting my father, unbeknownst to me, and I flew in to check up on him. I get there, and my sister is sitting by the resort pool, rip roaring drunk,(my Dad paid for her to stay there, same place I was staying that I paid for, Dad was sneaky) and asks me to go get Dad’s car which my Dad took into the shop for maintenance, and that she was supposed to get it back. I went and paid the maintenance bill, and drove the car back.
Also, I was not supposed to tell Dad she smoked cigarettes and marijauna. My Dad was not dumb, she stunk of it anyway. I was pissed that I had to deal with my sister on this little jaunt I took to visit Dad.
Finally, one day my sister calls me up, on our land line, or maybe my brother in law did, and asks me to pay their power bill and phone bills. I said “WHAT?!,” “Pay YOUR Bills?” I then went on a tirade and told them to never contact me again. They do not have my cell phone number.
Moral of the Story: Once your sister burns you, she will continue to burn you. Over and Over. Do not fall for her stories or excuses.
She stole your identity regardless. Make a police report. Use that report to close the fraudulent accounts. Use that report to have derogatory remarks removed from your credit score. Freeze all 3 of your credit scores.
Just to clarify, she opened it under your name with your number? Oh and she would be dead to me.
Gonna be honest here, Op. You really have 1 of 2 options and neither of them you will like.
1) Now that you have closed the account, do nothing. If you don’t sign the fraud paperwork and start the process of clearing your name, you are on the hook. As far as the electric company is concerned you are the customer and you are the one responsible for the bills and your credit is on the line. This option will keep your sister out of trouble, but you are in real hot water. Probably for a while.
2) File the paperwork, get your name and credit cleared, but then that debt will be transferred to your sister if enough proof is given and you win the identity theft/claim. You giving her permission doesn’t hold water. She doesn’t have a POA over you to put bills in your name and (I’m assuming) you never signed any paperwork to agree to this.
Please also keep in mind that your sister absolutely knew what she was doing when asking you to do this. It’s very rare an 18 year old knows the pros and cons of fronting someone else bills. She proved this by telling you not to tell your mom, which means she knew your mom would not be for this. It also shows she has made terrible financial decisions in the past, which is why she can’t get a bill in her name. And on top of that she CHOSE not to pay the bills and CHOSE not to tell you about it. She needs to be held accountable for her actions and by you not taking the proper steps to clear yourself is reinforcing her decision making.
I’m sorry OP, but your sister played you. Your sister chose to have children, not you. She knew she could manipulate you by getting the kids involved and that’s exactly what happened. Please, file the fraud claim, file a police report and get your info back. Don’t let her use her children to manipulate you. You have to think about your future. Having these marks on your credit will make it difficult for you in the future.
Good luck.
Edit to add: PLEASE FREEZE YOUR CREDIT! I would go so far as getting a new SSN
A lot of lawyers do free consults. You seem to be getting conflicting information, why not ask a lawyer? Perhaps they can give you an answer or maybe you could even sue her. Doesn’t hurt to ask if they do free consults.
At this point I’d tell mom and ask for help? Is that an option ?
I’m from CT and I did the same mistake a few years back and honestly as much as I love my sister I filled out the paper work and got the issue resolved don’t hesitate just do it because in the long run your credit score will be affected and when you decide to move out on your own you won’t be able to put a light bill in your name family or not she obviously doesn’t care and screwed you over don’t do any more favors she’s going to keep doing you dirty I learned my lesson for sure.
In the case that it doesn’t get resolved you might wanna take her to court.
Good luck!
Take her to civil court, sue her.
Make sure you have proof first , like text messages where she acknowledges she used your social.
If the $ is worth you and your sisters relationship.
I could see a few hundred bucks but a few thousand? Yeah. I wouldn’t let that slide. Especially if she isn’t remorseful. She basically said fu. I’m not taking care of it. Otherwise you’re credit is going to be crap for the next seven years. Don’t plan on buying a house or a car because that’s going to drag your credit down for 7 years.
Add a Hawk alert to your credit bureau..
If anyone applies for credit, they will call you and verify, before they release your credit information.
Here’s what CT has to say about SSN and identity theft. “A person commits identity theft when he or she knowingly uses another person’s personal identifying information (including the person’s SSN) to obtain or attempt to obtain money, credit, goods, services, property, or medical information without the other person’s consent.” https://www.cga.ct.gov/2011/rpt/2011-R-0369.htm
This happened to my sister. Her best friend pulled this on her. This was about 30 years ago. My sister eventually paid the bill (which you will likely have to do as well) and doesn’t talk to her former best friend anymore. I think her heart was a bit hardened by the situation, and she is less of a kind human being after the experience.
Don’t beat yourself up for being a trusting soul, and I certainly hope this situation doesn’t harden your heart. The truth is, some people will just take, and not give. It’s more a reflection of their faults than yours.
Apparently your familial connection was worth only thousands of dollars to her. Sorry.
You probably won’t read this in the flurry of replies. I know this sucks and she’s your freaking sister, but you have to protect yourself. You’re young, and you think your family is your whole world. But someday you’re going to have your own family to look out for. And a huge blemish on your credit is going to hold you down like a 500lb weight.
You need to attack this problem hard. Get it off your credit report. No matter what it takes. She screwed you and she doesn’t care. Fill out the paperwork. Use the system. File the right paperwork with the credit bureaus. File with the police. Use those case numbers to get it off your credit reports. Don’t pay a dime. If it costs your relationship with your family, that’s what they were willing to pay and it’s on them man. They took advantage of you. I’m sorry this happened.
It’s still a crime. She knew what she was doing and you didn’t. File a fraudulent claim report. Expect her to get angry with you, but don’t back down. Make sure she hasn’t opened other accounts in your name too. Freeze your credit so she can’t do more damage. You’ll always have to keep an eye on you credit because she could try to do it again in the future, even after the dust settles. Sorry that your sister took advantage of you.
Ruthless, Family is the one to take advantage of you first.
My older brother did it when I rented a house. He stop paying rent.
My mom bought and sold house in me and my brothers names.
She took advantage of you. What she did was wrong, file the paper work if they asked to be honest with them that you were young and naive and thought you could trust your sister. And in the mean time tell your mom there may be a reason why your sister didn’t want you to tell your mom. Because momma would have stepped in and put all this nonsense to stop.
Honestly, she probably won’t get in trouble. It’s unlikely the utility is going to press fraud charges against your sister. They require the fraud affidavit to be completed for a few reasons:
* It IS a crime to file a false police report, and if it were actually your debt, by filing the false police report you could be opening yourself up to legal implications. This is the utility’s way of weeding out the ‘false fraud’ claims.
* The fraud affidavit allows them to make a claim against their insurance for the loss
However, the **LAST** person I would be accepting advice from on this matter is your sister!! She’s already defrauded you, lied to you, and tried to stick you with thousands in utility bills that SHE owes.
**BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE**, pull your free credit report from all three reporting agencies (TransUnion, Experian, and Equifax) and make sure additional accounts weren’t opened in your name. If accounts were opened, report them as fraudulent. Then, place a free freeze on all three of your credit reports so no accounts can be opened without you knowing it.
Once you’ve mitigated the risk of additional damage, then you can start dealing with the problem at hand with your full attention.
How old were you when this started?
First let’s separate the fact that she is family and that you know her.
Then ask your self if a third person promised to abide by a certain standard or rule, broke said standard or rule, and said it isn’t breaking the rules but ultimately it would be you paying the consequences, how would you feel about the situation?
Boundaries are important even with Family, Friends and significant others. If a person is willing to sacrifice you once then chances are they are willing to do it again.
When she choose to do this action she was not acting as your sister (not the spirit of family anyway).
*You need to decide if you should pay the price for this persons lies or they should.*
You already got all the advice you need but I have heard this story so many times. This is why SS numbers were never ment to be used for anything other then getting social security. That number is supposed to be unique to you for the govt to use. Then business started requiring it to insure you are who you say you are BUT apparently city utilities have zero ways of even using that number to look someone up. When a 20 something women comes in with a number that belongs to a man you would thing it would be flagged by the employee. The biggest issue is when parents use their child’s numbers to open utilities. Those kids are screwed before they are even 10 years old. My brother found that out years ago when he went to buy a house and found it on there.
Do what they say. No matter what your immediate plans are for your future you need to protect your credit. This stays on for 7 years. This happened to my partner and it destroyed their credit. The person who did this to them was their own mother and it was for two utility companies.
Also, for this to have gotten to be so high of an amount, she knew all about it because she had to have called and told them she couldn’t pay and has a child, that is why the utility company didn’t turn it off and let the amount get so high.
Oof, I read that title and new it was gonna be bad. I signed a loan for my mom when I wasnt much older and had to pay thousands in retail goods. I was on the hook for it and paid for it.
Go to Experian, Equifax, and Transunion and freeze your credit RIGHT NOW. This will prevent her from opening possibly tons of accounts in your name.
It sucks what happened. I feel for you.
If you lie about what happened, and claim you didn’t give her permission, then you’re both liars.
Don’t lie about what happened. Don’t feel guilty, but don’t lie.
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