Don’t need people to tell me what I’ve done is wrong. Thanks. I know.
Gambling addict since I could remember. Literally the age of 12 or below. In college, getting good degree, few internships, few side jobs.
Never been able to keep money for a long period of time. Stocks. Casinos. Sports wagering. You name it. It’s taken my money.
Graduating soon and want (NEED) to change my ways. Have a few full time job offers and come from a middle class family who I have a great relationship with. Want to move out soon/ just not be such a fucking bum… however… It’s not like I’m on the brink of homelessness ….
Any advice helps. Just looking for different perspectives since mine sucks.
Are you in active therapy/treatment for the addiction? That would be my step 1
Gambling addiction is an addiction and needs treatment.
If you really are ready to choose a different path, get signed up for some counseling to help.
How long can you go without making a wager? Can you do 30 days?
If you’re an addict and not in recovery, there’s not a lot you can do to set yourself up of a good financial path.
Stay away from individual stocks. If you don’t have your gambling in check, this could be just as dangerous and addictive for you. Your investing should be in funds to curb any of the risks you may want to take. A lot of this is obvious, just really really hard….make healthy choices. Do things on more of a routine/regimen. You’ll want to do things like have the money come out of your check so that it is a set amount and the decision is already made. You’ve already taken a big step in acknowledging the problem. Keep moving forward.
You need to gamify your saving somehow. That’s the only thing that worked for me and boy, did it work.
I definitely had less than 2 grand at 23. You’ve got plenty of time to turn it around, especially if you’re aware of where you went wrong.
One paycheck at a time (recovery pun intended).
I’m 26 and I have 2 grand. I struggled with a narcotics addiction for years, got clean 4 years ago. It’s been a slow progression starting from nothing but I’ve been slowly getting thing in my life, (car, apartment, pc, back to school etc) don’t beat yourself up by the time it takes to get your life on track. I’ve never been happier with who I am in my entire life.
The only way things are gonna get better for you is to get rid of the gambling addiction, try gamblings anonymous. Realize gambling isn’t the problem, you and how you think are the problem. Once you realize that gambling is only a symptom of the problem, you can start to identify your triggers, what people places and things make you want to gamble. The first step is cutting all of that out. Then you can focus on what helps you stay distracted from the impulse of gambling when it hits you. Yadayadayada and so on.
All addictions work the same inherently in the way we think. Gamblers anonymous will help you learn how to break that line between your thoughts and actually acting on them.
You are only 23. You will be okay, but gamblers anonymous would be good.
Just for fun: Two months after my 23rd birthday I gave birth to my second daughter. DH (22) was unemployed that year and I worked 2 days a week. We lived in a house rent-free and were poor. We worked our butts off. Those girls are now 43 and 41 and we are millionaires with a third daughter and soon to have our 5th granddaughter. You can turn things around if you work hard.
If you physically cannot save money without gambling it away you should seek mental health treatment, that kind of destructive behavior can destroy lives and you’re catching it early if you start working on things now.
Seeking mental health treatment is insanely difficult in some regions, so it might not be an easy solution but you should probably start looking for a counselor.
I think I had $9 at 23 (before overdrawing and then it was -$81 after overdraft fees).
One way I’ve utilized in the past was I’d get reeeeeeeal high and just start driving on the interstate for about an hour, get off at the next bigger city and find a bank that only has locations in said city and I’d open a checking/savings account there. I wouldn’t get a card of any form for the account and I’d have a percentage that was taken out of my check each week and went there. That way I’d have to drive my ass all the way to that bank if I wanted/needed the money.
Yea the time you spend going there sucks if you need it in a hurry, but if you’d spend it otherwise, that drive is a minor inconvenience.
***Not advising anyone to drive while high, do that shit sober since most of you can’t drive right even in a right state of mind. 🙂
As many have said, you need therapy. Two sentences in your post jumped out at me though – “You name it. It’s taken my money”. You may need to acknowledge that it hasn’t taken your money, you’ve given it. Not having been in this kind of dilemma myself, I find your phrase significant. Since you’ve acknowledged you have a problem, you might be able to work through some sort of decent recovery.
I worked with a therapist and one thing I found most helpful was making a physical budget of all my income and expenditures (still do it today).
It really put into perspective how much I was betting on sports and how little I was actually winning. The worst part of the betting was I would win, from time to time, and think I can “win it back” or that I was actually breaking even or profiting. Until I started budgeting and documenting everything…
Writing everything down also helped me notice I was putting more budget for betting than my monthly groceries…
not that the budget itself helped but it provided a lot of motivation and drive once I realized it was not a “small problem” or just a “bad habit”
You got 2 grand 😳… I mean consider you are well ahead of the majority
If the AA approach doesnt work for you, some people have found naltrexone, a drug used to stop alcoholism helps reduce the urge to gamble. You need to take it 1 hour before you gamble. It stops the dopamine release.
I’d recommend first conquering your gambling addiction, because no matter how good of a career you obtain, a gambling addiction will just take every dollar you earn. I personally believe in the Bible and that God can heal you, but one question Jesus asked a man before he healed him was “do you want to be healed?”. It sounds like a dumb question, but think about it, some people have these addictions and they say they want to stop, but they actually don’t, they like the rush and the feeling. They enjoy it and want to keep doing the addiction, so I would really ask yourself “do you want to be healed?”
Have you set up a formal budget? I think that is the best place for you to start. I’d really recommend you check out YNAB, or “You Need A Budget”. Their budgeting software works on the envelope method, meaning you only budget with money that you currently have in your bank account. Doing this helps you to stop creating new debt and take better control of your money. Since you are a college student, YNAB actually gives you a free year trial as well, so nothing but upside in that respect! I think if you got on a budget it would change everything for you, and YNAB is excellent because of the way they change your mindset about budgeting. Budgeting is all about spending in line with your priorities, rather than restricting your spending. That mindset shift will change everything! Good luck, I hope you find something that works for you.
I would recommend getting treatment for your gambling addiction. All the budget tools in the world won’t help you if you can’t control the impulse to go gamble the money away.
Read The easy way to stop gambling by Alan Carr. I quit gambling this year at 23 and like you I started when I was around 12. If I can do it so can you, good luck.
You’re doing alright, dude. You are YOUNG and if you can kick the gambling habit you have plenty of time to get on a good path.
If you only have two grand to you name, I wouldn’t even touch investing right now, aside from a savings account. A emergency fund is far more important than a stock portfolio.
If you get a job, see if there are therapist benefits from them to seek help. If not, get Healthcare and find whatever your Healthcare covers for a therapist.
It sounds like you’ve been in the works for awhile now, so maybe it’s time for a therapist if it’s feasible financially and practically.
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