Financial worries about buying a home looking at 1500 a month

I am down to the part where I don’t know if I can afford what I am looking for. There is a very small volume of houses. What we have found our estimate with a 105% financing program all of the estimates come out to 1500 a month with the second mortgage included. 1400ish for all mortgage mpi tax etc around 100 for the second loan.

The lender program is a 97% loan at 3.5% interest and a second mortgage for our closing costs and down payment at 4.5% interest. We could change to 95% or 97% loan and pay the closing costs ourselves and stay at a 3.5% interest.

I have 22k in the bank. 10k in our 401k we are willing to take out. My fiancé and I gross 63k a year total. Right now at our small shitty apartment we pay 850. Only 3k in debt(credit and medical bills) right now.

I am so worried on whether or not I can afford this. It really is the limiting factor right now for us and I don’t really know how to help myself feel ok with this big of a change in bills. Also not sure which way to go 105% with the 2 loans or a 97% or 95% with paying closing costs. Some are saying we should be fine but I just don’t know.

Is there anyone who can help with this? I fully admit I am not good with finances I have rented my whole life and haven’t had to make these kinds of calls as we have been ok.